You might not realize it at first, but there are certain things your ex does and says that show they’re just pretending to be over you. They’ll say they’re “really busy” or try to avoid seeing you in person. They won’t change their Facebook status or even want to talk on the phone anymore. If these signs sound familiar, keep reading for what you can do about them!
They say “what if we were together again?” as a joke
If your ex says things like “what if we got back together?” or “we should have never broken up” as a joke, they’re probably still in love with you and not over you at all. Ask them not to make fun of the relationship you used to have and treat them as you would any other person.
They still talk about past events as if they’re a couple
If your ex acts like you’re still together, it’s because they don’t want to admit that the relationship is over, whether they’re trying to get over you or not. Tell them how you feel and let them know that what they said hurt your feelings.
They say things like “we would be perfect together”
If your ex says weird things like this, their negative feelings towards you are probably still holding on to the past. Tell them how their words make you feel and suggest that they try saying something along the lines of “I wish things were different” instead.
They try to tell you how much they miss you or want to be with you
If your ex tells you that they miss you, it’s probably because their feelings for you are resurfacing and it hurts them so much that they can’t have you anymore. Let them know that their feelings are resurfacing and suggest they try to move on with their life instead.
They start talking about how great things would be if you were together now
If your ex talks about how much better their life could be if you were still together, it’s probably because of old memories that make them feel good. Tell them to move on with their life instead and stop talking about how wonderful it would be if you were together.
They start to say something then quickly change the subject
If your ex says they’re over you but then quickly changes the subject after, they might not actually want to get over you and are trying as hard as they can to hide their feelings. Tell them what you think so they know the truth and stop lying to you about how they really feel!
They stop responding to your texts
Truth be told, if you’re sending your ex a text and getting no response, it’s probably what they wanted all along. Because they’ve already let you go emotionally, there’s really nothing for them to say. If this is the case with your ex, calmly accepting that they don’t want to talk or see you will go a long way.
They keep in contact for the wrong reasons
In rare cases, your ex might think that they’re over you but they still have to stay in contact with you for some reason. Maybe it’s a business-related matter like an ongoing project at work or just staying ‘friends’ on Facebook for appearances. If this is the case, it’s likely that they’re doing this because they don’t know how to get over you yet. Be happy with the fact that at least hearing from them gives you a glimmer of hope and keeps your hopes up!
You feel pain when you hear their voice
There is such a thing as too much contact. If your ex still wants to speak on the phone with you, it’s easy to give in and be drawn back into their web of lies and sweet-talking. However, when you hear their voice now, it hurts instead of makes you happy. Time has passed and they are no longer the person you once loved, so don’t let their voice draw you back into the relationship. If anything, it should make your realize how much happier you are now without them.
You’re doing a lot better than they are
If your ex is still talking to you like everything’s okay it could be because they’re not doing well. They might think that talking to you will help them feel better. But you probably know everything they’re going through, and it’s their problem, not yours. The best thing you can do is just accept that your ex won’t be over you until they really are…
You don’t see them in person anymore because of what they did
If your ex is trying to avoid seeing you, it’s because they don’t want to face up to the fact that what they did was wrong. Maybe they cheated or treated you badly in some other way and now they’re afraid of what you’ll do when you see them. In this case, let go of any bad feelings towards them and look forward to meeting a new, better person.
They’re constantly talking about the relationship
If your ex can’t stop talking about you and how much they miss you, they might not be ready to let go after all. They may just feel that if they keep saying it out loud over and over again that somehow it will become true. If this is the case, let them know exactly how much you’ve moved on and that their talking about you isn’t really working anymore.
They’re the one who wants to hang out
There are some cases when your ex will try so hard to make everything seem okay but then they’ll want to see you or talk to you all of a sudden. At first this might seem like hope, but it’s just because they’re only pretending because they want something from you. If your ex is trying to start up the relationship again or thinks that hanging out will help them feel better, they probably aren’t over you after all.
They’ve found a new person to spend time with
Your ex might be trying to pretend they’re over you in order to move on as quickly as possible. If they’ve found someone new and are spending all their time with them, it’s because they want to hide from the fact that they haven’t really gotten over you just yet. Getting into a relationship so soon after failing the last one will just hurt them even more because they’ll realize that they never really got over you.
They’re not asking about your new love life
If your ex is still talking to you but isn’t asking about your love life, it might be because they aren’t ready to face up to their failure. They need to know that you’re happy with someone new so they’ll accept their shame and get over it. If your ex isn’t asking, tell them how great your love life is compared to theirs.
They keep showing up randomly
If your ex keeps showing up unexpectedly at places you’re at, they’re probably not ready to be over you. When someone who likes you starts acting like a jerk, most people will get the hint and move on. But sometimes you might have fooled them so well that they don’t pick up on the signs until they’re face to face with you. If your ex has done this, tell them how you feel and make it clear that they can’t keep doing this or hang out anymore.
They start bringing up the past
If your ex starts asking questions about what happened in the past, it’s because they want to know that you didn’t mean what you said or how you acted. If they’re over you, they won’t need to know this because everything will have gotten better. If your ex is still trying to be over you, bring up something bad that they did and tell them how it affected the relationship in the past. This will help them understand why what they did was wrong and why they need to get over it now.
They keep hanging out with their ex-friends all the time
If your ex isn’t hanging out with you or seeing you anymore, they might be trying to hang out with their friends for an excuse just to see you again. In this case, tell your ex how much you miss them but know that they are still trying to be over you. If your ex mentions their friends, just say things like “Oh yeah? How long have those been going on?”
They bring up the idea of hanging out first
If your ex brings up hanging out or seeing you in advance, it could just be their guilt talking. They’re probably thinking about how good it was to see you and even though they realize what that means, they don’t want to accept it. If your ex is always trying to be the one who brings up hanging out or getting together, tell them how you feel and let them know that this isn’t healthy for either of you.
They try to start up the relationship again
If your ex talks about getting back together or even forgets that they ever broke up with you, it’s because they haven’t gotten over their feelings yet. If your ex is trying to act like everything is okay and bring up how things were in the past, tell them how you feel and let them know that what they say doesn’t make sense. If your ex is still trying to be over you, they’re just pretending in order to get back together so it will hurt less when their feelings for you resurface. Tell them the truth about your feelings, and if they really are over you, it won’t matter.
They ignore you in public or start to avoid you
If your ex starts to avoid seeing you in person for no apparent reason, it’s because they feel guilty about how their feelings haven’t changed enough. If they can’t see your face, it’s easier for them to pretend that you don’t exist and get over you more easily. Tell your ex that this isn’t healthy and let them know how you feel about the situation.
They don’t want to talk on the phone anymore
If your ex is no longer interested in talking on the phone or doesn’t even take calls from you, it’s probably because they’re still trying to get over you. Tell your ex the truth and let them know how you feel about what they’re doing.
They don’t change their Facebook status
When someone is over another person, they don’t want to constantly be reminded that things haven’t gone back to normal yet. If your ex doesn’t change their relationship status on Facebook or hasn’t changed it from “single” to “in a relationship,” they’re probably trying to be over you. If your ex still hasn’t changed their Facebook status, talk to them about how you feel and tell them that maybe you should see other people too so it doesn’t hurt as much when your feelings resurface for each other later on.
They try to bring you down or criticize your actions in front of other people
If your ex talks about how they don’t want you to go out so much or change your hobbies, it’s because they’re probably trying to get over you. If someone is over another person, they’ll treat them as if nothing happened and not try to change their life in any way. Tell your ex how you feel and make them understand what they’re doing wrong.
They don’t mention seeing you at all anymore
If your ex is completely over you, they won’t visit or even try talking to you for prolonged periods of time because it’s no longer a big deal. If your ex is trying to pretend they’re over you, they’ll want to see you as much as possible so it doesn’t hurt when their feelings for you resurface. Tell them how their actions are unnecessary and let them know that what they say hurts your feelings.
They don’t invite you out in public without finding an excuse
If your ex is trying to get over you, they’ll try not to appear in public with you because they feel bad about it. If they don’t see you at all in front of other people without a good excuse, check what they’re doing and why it’s happening. Tell your ex the truth about how their actions make you feel and if they don’t change, the best thing for you to do is move on with your life.
They start to avoid seeing you altogether, even in private
If they’re still trying to get over you and their feelings for you haven’t changed enough, they’ll avoid spending time with you altogether so they don’t have to deal with the fact that they’re still in love with you. Tell your ex that what they’re doing isn’t healthy and ask them to spend time with you instead so their feelings can resurface more naturally.
They say things like “we should never have gotten together” or “I wish I didn’t meet you”
If your ex says weird or hurtful things like this, they’re probably not over you. Tell them the truth and if they deny it, ask them to stop saying these weird things so they don’t hurt your feelings.
They start hanging out with their friends less often because of how much time they want to spend with you
If your ex starts to spend less time with their friends and more time with you, they’re still trying to get over you. Suggest that you hang out with your friends for a while and then see each other afterwards so they don’t feel like they need to change their schedule.
They keep dating other people even when they know it hurts you
If your ex is trying to pretend they’re over you because it will make them feel better, they’ll probably keep dating other people in front of you even when they know it’s making you jealous. Talk to them about why this might be happening and if they continue to sleep around, look for someone else who won’t do the same thing.
Last Words
There are many signs that your ex might still love you, and it’s important to know what these are so you can act accordingly. Whether they’re trying to get over you or not, their behavior could be hurting your feelings and preventing them from moving on with their life. If your ex is doing any of these things, don’t be afraid to let them know how you feel in a calm manner. If they’re just pretending to get over you, your relationship will only last longer if you make it clear that’s what you want.