Arguments are a part of life, and often result in hurt feelings.
Arguing with your girlfriend is never easy, and there’s always the chance that things can get out of hand if you let them. But by using these techniques, you will be able to maintain control over the argument without resorting to any other negative tactics or letting it spiral out of control.
So next time you find yourself arguing with your girlfriend about something small or serious, try one of these methods instead of engaging in more negativity:
Ask her how she feels about what she wants from the argument
This might seem like an obvious question at first glance but sometimes we forget that our partners have their own opinions on what they want from the argument.
Furthermore, you can find out what she actually wants right away and this way you won’t need to argue about it for a long time. Here’s how you do it: While your girlfriend is angry from the argument, ask her if she would like to hear your version of events or just get on with the discussion – most likely she will say that she wants to get on with the discussion. Now you just need to ask her what she thinks of your point of view, and if you are right or not. You can use an indirect way of asking this by saying ‘that’s what I understand…’ If your girlfriend says that her version is right, point out why that’s wrong. If your girlfriend says that you are right, explain to her how her version is not right.
And if the discussion seems to be getting nowhere, it might help to ask: ‘So can I say something?’ Giving this type of feedback will reduce the tension and make both parties feel comfortable again.
Make her do something to prove that she knows what she is talking about, or that you are wrong
This may seem like a weird tactic, but it can be very effective. You need to choose a statement from your girlfriend which makes you feel uncomfortable and then ask her to prove it using evidence by doing something. For example, you can ask your girlfriend to do a bungee jump or to donate £1000 to an African charity just because she said that it was wrong for you to play video games all night. You will quickly learn if your girlfriend is really right about something or not.
This tactic is also great since it gives her the opportunity to admit that she didn’t know what she was talking about, and also to get back at you for being right all the time.
Use your girlfriend’s rules against her
When someone is trying to justify their point of view by using a rule that they made up or something you agreed with in the past, it might be worth pointing out. For example, you could question why she is allowed to change her mind over something that was previously agreed upon and then point out how it contradicts what she is saying now and how double standards are not nice.
This can actually make your girlfriend feel guilty about what she said and also may cause her to question whether or not it’s right to change her mind about something.
Ask your girlfriend if she is speaking from personal experience or just making a general statement
This tactic will help you understand whether or not what your girlfriend said is actually true and also whether or not there are more factors in the story than her opinion. If she claims that something is universally right, but is not willing to explain how that might be the case, you can challenge her on this.
Using this tactic will allow you to discuss things without snapping at each other or causing any damage to your relationship.
Do something productive together
We’ve all been in an argument where silence fills the room and neither partner seems able to speak because of the tension. Having a go at one another is not productive and won’t solve anything, so why not do something else instead?
For example, try watching a movie together or doing your taxes jointly. This can help you avoid further arguments about domestic chores in the future since you can both see that it’s not worth arguing about.
When you’re ready to calm down and talk calmly, you can always return to your conversation at a later date. You could even write an article about how you know that an important relationship comes before anything else and the most valuable thing is working things out as a couple. If arguing doesn’t work for your relationship, then try writing an article about how you know that arguing with your girlfriend doesn’t solve anything and maybe it might be better to avoid further arguments in the future.
Conclusion
knowing that your relationship is more important than getting stuck in an argument, you can relax and try to sort things out calmly.
I hope this list of tips on how to win an argument with your girlfriend helps you avoid conflict in the future. Your girlfriend should also feel very proud of herself because she no longer needs a list like this one, and she is now able to deal with arguments without causing any harm to your relationship. The next time you have a disagreement, keep these techniques in mind and just walk away from the argument if you can’t do it right now. People don’t always think clearly when they are arguing so take some time out and try again later on when both of you have calmed down.